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When Confusion Sets In...

In my experience, there are times when confusion will flutter down, whirl in or good old fashioned completely cloak the situation. It is as if there was no more intelligence to animate or guide me and I am in a blizzard bumbling around for all of eternity. Then it will turn to a place of poking, prodding, distraction or grabbing - basically working harder than necessary, feeling urgency in the body- creating a “two bad choices offer” (as my teacher will say) or perhaps an unskillful reaction. And if I follow that path (which is a human thing to do), I get internally beaten up for that reaction or maybe just feel bad about it. This follows with a moment of relief perhaps before self

-doubt comes in, starting the whole process all over. Whew! Just a lot of suffering. Ever had that process or parts of it before? Luckily, there are ways to practice with this and step out of the cycle.

Over the years of watching this process personally and professionally it has dropped in that we can use what is labeled as confusion as a cue. A cue that we have gotten distracted and the attention is no longer in the present. We don’t have to feel bad about that or get into further thoughts about what that means, we can just thank the confusion and turn back to this moment to pause and regroup or ground. In other words, it is the process of being with the experience rather than becoming the experience. In Heartmath that might be a heart lock in and then a freeze frame, in Awareness Practice it is redirecting the attention back to the breath and to Presence, in CBT Mindfulness it would be to focus on the feet on the ground and in Earth Based traditions it might be to light a candle or bring attention to nature, etc.

The point is we’ve been pulled away by other energies and/or the voice (judge and jury) in our head when confusion, distraction or fear sets in. It doesn’t mean we resist or brace ourselves to never feel fear or confusion. It means that we can accept this is a human behavior and we do have a choice with whatever tools resonates for us in the moment to respond rather than react to whatever is unfolding. Once we are actually present to what is, we can then be aware of what action (if any) is being called for in that moment. The good news is that we get to have lots of practice with this and it does get easier over time. That does not mean we will never be confused or afraid again or act in unskillful ways. It has been my experience though, that we can see the process and respond more quickly than in the past. There is less suffering and more peace and love for ourselves and others.

For more support in this skill and others you can go to the online page to schedule a one on one session with me here, and/or explore some of my favorite resources and people (including facilitators in HearthMath, Awareness Practice and Earth Based traditions) here.

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