There seem to be a few things in my experience that continue to be true – that everything is a learning or practice opportunity, and I don’t really know anything. To be clear, this isn’t from a place of self-deprecation, it is from a place of humility and wonder. The last six months with Wellness As One I needed to step away from aspects of it (the blog, podcast and website) and didn’t know that would happen. What I learned once again was that it was okay. It was okay that life circumstances changed, and I needed to spend more time at the clinic as a therapist. I had also not understood how much time the blog, podcasts and keeping up with the website would take. I had never done this kind of endeavor before, and with the summer and fall schedule of being with the children or with clients, there was no time for anything extra. In each situation I had to adjust to less time with Wellness As One, and there was an imbalance in energy and/or forgetting that whatever I was engaged in was of benefit to me as well. The imbalance was not to where I have been in my life prior, but a familiar feeling of giving without recharging. Not a good combo for anyone I project, and definitely not for me. I am glad for the experience though, because I saw where it was coming from and how it was happening a little differently this time around. The beliefs which felt most “real” focused on believing I should know what is coming next (or some variation of that), and I shouldn’t be included in the giving or receiving of care. They were harder to see because of a thin veil of kindness – they weren’t as blunt as above. It would sound a little like, “there really isn’t another option, you just need to do it – it will be ok and not forever,” or “well – it can’t be helped now – if you had planned better, seen more, xyz wouldn’t have happened”.
What is actually true is if I pause and listen, the next step is clear, and I am not “supposed” to know, nor do I need to know what is going to happen next. There is always a choice in how I respond to life unfolding, and I never need to be sacrificed. I get to take care of myself by listening and slowing down to pay attention to the next step. At times I forget that possibility. Again, not as much as I used to, but it absolutely can happen. There can be moments where I might get talked into distraction, and I do get to pay attention to how that happens. Life keeps offering places to practice, and I can be sure that whatever happens is to support my learning. I can plan in the present for the future when it is appropriate, knowing anything could change, and I can change with what is arising. That is the practice opportunity - to be with what is in the moment, pay attention and relax into the flow of each step. From that place there is plenty of time, care, space and attention for all – including myself.
What has been your learning curve this year? What are you ready to celebrate and readjust to for the New Year? What beliefs show up and try to find fault with your process? Perhaps you may have had a similar situation for you – or a combo of reviewing things from the past and worrying about the future. What is great to know is that whatever our learning curves contain, we know we are not alone in these experiences, and we get to learn from and support one another. Thank you for another wonderful year Wellness As One!